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REVEALED: Eoin Sheahan's ficti...
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REVEALED: Eoin Sheahan's fictitious GAA 7s team feat. Normal People

Shane Hannon
Shane Hannon

10:39 8 May 2020

Normal People has once again put GAA in the international spotlight, with millions of viewers tuning in to find out if Connell does indeed become a Sligo minor star.

Paul Mescal, who plays Connell in the hit show, is himself a former Kildare minor football captain, and so could arguably now lay claim to being the most famous GAA player on the global stage.

This got Eoin Sheahan thinking about the top fictitious GAA players we've ever had - and it turns out there are enough to make a decent seven-a-side team!

===

GOALKEEPER: CATHAL (FROM DEAD MEAT)

"I suspect Cathal's puck-outs might be absolutely unreal. He's literally decapitating a zombie here with a hurley. Does he have the power to take a puck-out in a seven-a-side game? Probably."

===

FULL BACK - SERGEANT TOM BRANT (FROM BLITZ, PLAYED BY JASON STATHAM)

"I'm putting him in at full-back because my sort of full-back has this sort of philosophy on hurling... He's the most terrifying man to ever pick up a hurley, after Diarmuid 'The Rock' O'Sullivan..."

===

CENTRE BACK - CONNELL (FROM NORMAL PEOPLE)

"You'll have noticed in Episode One of Normal People he was wearing 10 on his back - completely out of position, he's not a wing forward, even that goal [he scored], completely lucky, he shanked the ball into the back of the net."

20 July 2014; Dublin captain Con O'Callaghan shakes hands with Kildare captain Paul Mescal before the game, with referee John Hickey. Electric Ireland Leinster GAA Football Minor Championship Final, Kildare v Dublin, Croke Park, Dublin. Picture credit: Ray McManus / SPORTSFILE

===

MIDFIELD - JAMES IGNATIUS ROONEY (FROM ROONEY)

"He might be the most complete hurler we have in the team... taking his talent from St Vincent's GAA to Croke Park, destroying all-comers. He's a man, he's a myth, he's a legend..."

===

MIDFIELD - PHIL KELLY FROM THE CLASH OF THE ASH

"One of the most skilful fictitious hurlers I've ever seen. He's got a lot of passion, he's got a bit of an aggression that we're going to need in this team."

===

CENTRE FORWARD - THE KID FROM THE KILFINNIN-BRUGHA UNDER-12 B TEAM (FROM BRAINEATER)

"He is one of the wristiest fictitious hurlers I've ever seen. He can also boast of having the ability to take a zombie's head clean off..."

===

CORNER FORWARD - UNNAMED GUY FROM BARRY’S ADS (CAPTAIN)

"Very sweet player? Must be a corner forward! I've got good news for you, unnamed man from Barry's ad - I'm making you captain!"

As Ger pointed out on OTB AM, "It turns out Barry's Tea invented sex on TV as opposed to Normal People..."

===

DIDN’T MAKE THE CUT

The Black and Tan constable (From the Wind that Shakes the Barley). Eoin just didn't think his heart was truly in the GAA...

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