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Kevin Kilbane - the new Danny...
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Kevin Kilbane - the new Danny Zuko | Dancing on Ice match report

Ciaran Bradley
Ciaran Bradley

21:06 26 Jan 2020

Kevin Kilbane channelled his inner Danny Zuko this evening, with an assured performance on the ice in week three of Dancing on Ice.

'Greased Lightning' Kilbane and his partner Brianne Delcourt danced to The Clash's 'Should I Stay or Should I Go', as they sailed into week four with ease.

The song was personally chosen by Kev, inspired by haunting memories of playing left-back for Ireland.

Kilbane also saved the wardrobe team a great deal of hassle, turning out in a leather waistcoat that Off The Ball producers have persuaded him to shed before no less than a dozen Football Shows.

The former Ireland star cannot be accused of being ensconced in his comfort zone, dealing with each week's themes with the versatility of John O'Shea.

Ballroom, pop music, rock hits - he's got it all in his locker and has grown into the competition like Italy at a World Cup.

Enemy of the people John Barrowman's initial words of encouragement rang hollow, as his dastardly plan to unseat Mayo's rose continued unabated.

Reports that Barrowman has constructed a Kilbane-shaped voodoo doll complete with Achill GAA training top remain unconfirmed.

Kilbane spent the week knocking the dust off the hips with the young lad from Diversity, and the training proved useful for a couple of tricky lifts.

Rumours from within the camp are that it will be Kev's turn next week, with Brianne concerned that it's about time she started pulling her weight when it comes to the lifts.

Kevin Kilbane dazzles

The routine will also involve a triple-axle double pike that he has been working on with the help of Lee Carsley and Wayne Sleep.

 

Brianne bemoaned having to "teach somebody rhythm", and we are very much above making any sort of jokes about that whatsoever. Yessir.

Off The Ball's Nathan Murphy was in the audience to provide a much-needed Mayo contingent among the rampant Brexiteers, and Murphy was on-hand all week over the phone to provide technical guidance for a tricky routine.

The judges pulled out a 21 total score, with Jayne Torvill saying that the pair "needed more confidence" in their dances.

What better way to inspire confidence than to castigate a couple live on national television, as they sail further into the hearts of the British public.

We leave, once again, concerned that the level of judging in Dancing on Ice is woefully-uninspiring.

In the words of Barrowman, we implore that the judging team "GET BETTER."

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